I am a very visual person. A bit of a perfectionist. When it comes to making sure everything in my home is placed in an ideal spot, I am on top of it. What’s more, I won’t accept anything ugly in my house. I like a home that is full of inspiration and warmth, including lots of color and my own personal touch.
My mother was a decorator. We moved house a lot. Every time we moved, she changed the color and scheme of things. Within a few short years we went from forest green and white accessories and wallpaper with mint green French provincial. I watched my mother reupholster the antique sofa and thought she was mad painting all the dark wood white and tossing gold speckles onto it.
From there she changed everything to dark Spanish wood and covered it all in black and white with very Versailles looking designs. Pots and pans suspended from the center of the kitchen. We never managed to bang into them, because we were all tiny, but almost all of our guests did.
From there she changed to caramel, turquoise and white. In fact, she wallpapered one of the bathrooms in a tiny cattail pattern. The background was caramel and the cattails were white. There was no trace of turquoise. My project was to put it there. On every single cattail I had to take a marker and stroke the stem in turquoise.
Again, I thought she was mad.
She died before she had a chance to finish that major undertaking in her home. Of the eight dining room tables we had, six had been stripped from dark chestnut and refinished in maple. Two were stripped down to the bare wood and that is how they remained.
Looking back, my mother was meticulous. She, too, had beautiful things, each one claiming its own perfect place in the home. While I am not meticulous, I still see a lot of her in me. I strive to try and make my home an artist’s retreat.
Then there is the carrot. Many of us can relate to this one. We burn ourselves out mentally and physically. “If only…” Fill in the blank. “If only my sister would come visit me! If only she had the money…” Or “If only my husband would put his things away!” “If only we could live closer to the children and grandchildren.” “If only I could sell my books and my music. If only I could find musicians to write music with.”
Would life be better? Would it be perfect? What am I looking for?
Every time I read the Bible and I am reminded that the Son came to earth to complete the will of His Father, it hits me hard. He lay down His life. Do I lay down mine? What does laying down my life look like? What if people take advantage of me? What if they don’t like what I have to say?
There is a verse at the start of Galatians. 1:10, “For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.”
I spend so much energy trying to get it perfect.
This is the year I abandon myself to God. This year I long to step out of my comfort zone and to take risks. I really have a heart for the lost. The hardest thing will be trying to determine those the Holy Spirit is really compelling me to approach. Doing all things in balance is key. I must be realistic and expect that I might not get it right in the first go. At any rate, no more trying to make it perfect!
Written by Jori Sams
Jori Sams is a Christian author and freelance writer with nearly 2000 published pieces on the Internet, with over 1500 being published by Yahoo. Her books are published through Writeious Books. When she isn’t writing, you can usually find her following the sun…