Just recently my husband and I have joined a marriage course that has just begun. Here we are reminded about the purpose of marriage, how we met, what attracted us to each other and why on earth we wanted to get married. It is a popular course in Christian circles, not just in Western culture, but around the globe. In fact, ten years ago after we were married we went through this marriage course. When my pastor, who has never done the course, asked me my opinion, he showed great joy when I said the course was great. A frown followed when I admitted that it hadn’t really changed anything and I never really saw its impact.
But as my husband and I made our way to the dinner on the opening night of the eight sessions, something struck me. Something important. There was one key moment during that course that I had held onto over the years. And it is huge. Somewhere in the middle of the course we took so many years ago they show a clip from a movie.
I don’t recall the name of the film, and it isn’t important. What matters was the impact from one scene. That scene shows the couple after one of their huge blow-out shouting matches which they so often had. The husband asks the woman why she hasn’t left him. Her remark is profound. “I don’t want to keep laying Mesopotamia upon Mesopotamia.”
I remember thinking, “Me neither!”
And I have clung to it over the years. I can keep changing husbands or boyfriends looking for the “perfect” fit. And it will exhaust me. l can find someone without the weaknesses of my husband. I can find someone who shares more of the same interests. Someone who is more my spiritual equal. Whatever I feel robbed of with my current husband. But he, too, will have weaknesses. And the cycle will begin all over again. The cycle of pleasing and satisfying “self.”
I don’t want that!
It is exhausting to walk that road. I have done it and still take an occasional stroll on that path. Once I realize I am going down that road, though, I immediately repent.
So I am embraces taking this course again ten years on. Even after the first session, I could see we both want the same things, generally speaking, in marriage. And I was reminded of my own understandings and discoveries of marriage and its purpose. I have done enough research on the subject and have even included a chapter in a book a wrote a couple of years ago, “What Every Woman Should Know.” In fact, every woman, and man, too, should know these things! That is why, with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I am going to post the chapter in snippets on my blog.
This blurb, then, is simply the introduction. Beloved, keep in mind that Satan hates children of God. He hates marriage. Especially Christian marriage. So, I pray you are strengthened and some of your questions answered in this chapter. It is chocked full of meaty stuff.
Watch this space for Part 2.
Written by Jori Sams